On Logging Off

One month ago today I stopped posting on my FB page. I pretty much stopped posting on there at all – I didn’t share anything, I wished 2-3 people a happy birthday (as opposed to the many others I did not – sorry guys), I left only a few comments and posted a thing or two on other pages. Even this blog is only posted to Twitter now. My notifications dropped to mostly game invites.

And no one seemed to notice. And I was glad.

Today is the 9th anniversary of the day my conjoined other half and I became FB friends, so they made us a little video, which I posted to our walls this morning. Then I changed my cover photo to the pic of Hudson and I that I love so, so much.

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That’s not to say that I am back to posting regularly on FB, or anything, though. I’m enjoying the time apart.

Which reminds me, there’s really only a few weeks left of this blog! The end of the year approach-eth! I think it’s safe to say (as I’ve said before) that it’s been a complete and utter fail. Yesterday I actually found the blurb which had inspired me to try and write this every day, too, and while I’m not exactly sure why I’d started off with such a different intention in mind, I do think the notion still has merit. I have a few ideas for what I might try instead, and hopefully any of those will yield better results for me. Because it is supposed to be about improving myself, after all. Why I thought I’d take any steps forward with a blog like this – one which never bothers to even scratch the surface, let alone dig deeper than that – is truly beyond me, but I am glad it’s almost done. I feel like I’ve become so accustomed to NOT communicating anything valid or real that I’m not sure I’ll be able to when I need to, now, either.

Luckily my therapist pushes me, but it’s actually a habit now for me to not push myself. And I rarely see her, so yeah. I’m regressing, instead of progressing, I think.

Hopefully whatever I do next will be more rewarding and positive than this has been. And as always, there’s so much more that I want to do, or even just to try. I don’t make New Years resolutions or anything like that, but maybe this year I can at least work more towards that turning point I seem to be on the cusp of, and really push myself to become a more active participant in my own life. It’ll mean some hard choices, and definitely lots of mistakes and disappointment, but at least it’ll be more mine, and less the facade I present.

If I do anything at all. I guess I’ll see! haha

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7 thoughts on “On Logging Off”

  1. Why do you think it’s been such a failure? You posted every day. Kept us up to date. I disagreed with you on what was personal and what was not or at least what you felt had meaning. I think you succeeded wonderfully. But you’ll probably disagree with me on that as well. LOL

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    1. I missed TONS of days. But the fact that I kept it superficial instead of trying to write in a way that allowed me to express myself is more of what made it a failure. I’m glad you think it was successful, but at the same time, I was trying to do something for ME, and I did not. At all. You have no idea what’s actually gone on this year in my life, nor how it’s affected me. Nor how I’ve affected it. I made a blog of small talk, and now it”s almost done, which is good, because I think on my end it’s done far more harm than help.

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    2. Basically, though, it boils down to this: the blog did not even remotely fulfill its intended purpose. Therefore, it’s a failure. -I- am not the failure, but this experiment has been. I’ll just try something else next time.
      Given that I’m the only one who knows what the intended purpose was/is, I don’t feel that anyone else is in a position to make anything other than an uninformed opinion. 😉

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      1. Oh I did not realize that the purpose was not stated. I thought the purpose was to just see if you could post every day for a year. Like a challenge for yourself. Maybe at the end you could tell us what the purpose was and why you feel it was a failure.

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      2. Ha no. The purpose is personal.

        Even if it had just been a challenge to post every day for a year, it’d still have been a failure. I generally only post on work days, over my lunch break! Haha

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      3. Well I enjoyed reading it and by that I don’t mean I found joy in the parts where you were sad or angry but I did like reading about your volunteering, how you feel about your animals, the trips to the zoo, your observations, etc.

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