Learning

I was going to write better, but now I’m caught up in a movie, so I’m distracted, but whatever.  I’ll keep it short.

I did some new stuff while volunteering today.  Well, new to me, anyway.  I actually started my shift off with it, and then it took me forever, and then I stayed longer than I have thus far.  It was just a simple task – change the food and water dishes in a whack of different enclosures – but each one presented a new challenge, and there was a ton to remember.

Chickens, rabbits, guinea pigs, hedgehogs, opossums…everyone had a different set of things to remember; what they eat, how much they eat and drink, how to avoid getting pecked at by the silky chicken who dislikes women, paying attention to the iguana when you’re bent over to make sure he doesn’t climb on your back.  All kinds of things, but different for each of them.

It was a lot for a lesion-addled brain which hadn’t slept enough due to a certain televised concert celebrating a – some would say – national treasure, keeping me up too late, to take in.

But I did it.

I barely managed to avoid being clipped by that silky chicken, and had to focus very hard to not pick up and snuggle every baby rabbit at my feet, but I did it.  It was stressful, because I put a lot of pressure on myself to do things right, if I can, but it was also cool because it was new and – for me – challenging.  It made my sleepy brain do some actual work.

I did a few other things – spot cleaned the small animal room (and managed not to get bit by ferrets, so that’s an ongoing plus), and washed some dishes and such, and of course took care of changing the small parrot papers, which is kinda my thing.  I don’t know why it’s my thing, or why I want it to be and like it to be my thing, but it is.  I don’t even know everybody’s name yet, but changing the papers at the bottom of all the small bird cages is the one thing I’ve done every shift, and I find myself kinda looking forward to it.  I talked to the birds more today than I have other times, and while I’m sure I’m just tired, I felt like they kind of recognized me this time.  Regardless, I am definitely getting better at it.  Still just as messy but I am faster and more confident now, too, which is probably why I felt like the sense of familiarity was returned.  I even got the sense that the little red bird who dislikes everyone, disliked me a little less than usual today.

At one point it even got sort of quiet in there; just two of us working away on our own tasks, a little music playing and a variety of calm animal sounds here and there.  It was peaceful, on occasion.

I stayed nearly an hour longer than usual, and was so freaking hungry by the time I got  home that I was stumbling around a bit while I put groceries away.  Then I took Brody out for a loo break, made a bad life choice that resulted in SO MANY BURRS, got them mostly all out, then finally ate something.

I can’t even remember  what specifically I wanted to say, including how I felt about my volunteer experience today, so I’ll just cut this ramble off now.

Is it just me, or did Gord seem to get stronger as he went along last night?  He seemed to me to be more…Gordie…by the end of the show than he was at the beginning.  Either way – what a show to remember.

#inGordwetrust

Feeling My Way

Just found out that a brand new Wendy’s location has opened up mere blocks from where I work.

We are all gonna get so fat now! $0.99 Frosty?! Whaaaat?!

Do we not use the symbol for “cent” anymore? I don’t see it on this keyboard. I guess that says something about how much things cost. And that we no longer have pennies. Apparently, it’ll cost you at least a nickel to hear my thoughts now.

I have no idea what to talk about today, either. There is, as always, a lot on my mind, but I’m having trouble sorting through it all and staying focused.

I tend to carry things around with me – literally – to help me remember them. Mostly printouts of things, or lists in my phone. This morning I pulled out all of the paper reminders I had in my bag and went through to see what was currently important. It’s not that the other stuff isn’t also important – just that these particular things have my attention at the moment, and in the near future. My resume needs to be updated and re-organized, if only so I have it up-to-date and presentable in case I suddenly need it for anything. I’ve got notes for some of my writing projects – the picture book about hearts and a re-imagined extension to some of Carving The Light. I was thinking I might try to write it as a screenplay – possibly through the month of August, and I was considering signing up for a challenge like NaNoWriMo, but with screenplays instead of novels. As if I have time, but it would at least get me started. Often that is the toughest step.

Even though all of the steps are currently tough. Haha

I put out some feelers earlier today regarding Mind Reels stuff, so we’ll see how that goes. I’m having trouble committing to that, because I feel like I am the only one who is doing so. But I like it, so I don’t really want to walk away from it all together. I am just not sure how much to put into it anymore. I guess we’ll see. No need to decide anything on that front any time soon, anyway.

I’m finding this weaning off antidepressants thing pretty interesting. The first time I tried it, several years ago, I was an insane mess within a few days, and went right back on them. The second time, I barely noticed because I was happy and travelling back and forth to Colorado and kept forgetting to take them, until one day I realized I was pretty much off them. I saw on my Facebook memories the other day that I’d tried a year or so ago to take them every other day, but it had made me physically ill, over and above everything else. So I went back on them again.

Now I don’t know what I’m doing, and I definitely notice a difference in how I feel – mentally, emotionally and physically – but it’s not as bad as it was some of those other times. And I’m in no rush – just picked up a new refill last week which I haven’t even started yet – so we’ll just see how each day goes, and week, and take things as they come.

I imagine PMS is going to be more horrible than usual, so that might make go back to them full time.

For now, though – in that as in so many things – I’m just feeling my way along.

Thought Potpourri

This post will just be a hodgepodge of things – a mix – a potpourri, if you will, because there are a few things on my mind that I should probably delve into deeper at some point, but which for now I’ll just gloss over so I remember for later.

Since I got a phone with a camera, and for every phone I’ve had with a camera over the years, I stopped taking an actual camera with me in day-to-day life. Special occasions, I might take one, and the zoo I always take one, but I find that the best photo opportunities come when least expected, which is problematic, because I never have a real camera with me. I always, however, have my phone. It’s just the photos aren’t that high quality beyond sharing on social media, which is usually fine, until I want to do something more than that with them.

Take Brody, for example. I am always taking pictures of him, especially when we go for a walk, because he’s so flippin’ cute I can barely stand it. Just this morning I took this sweet shot:

Brody 2

However, I’d love to have a photo that was so awesome it ended up getting picked to be in, say, the annual Pet Valu calendar. He’s easily handsome enough, but my phone isn’t skilled enough to get a high quality snap, nor do I have a real camera handy when I am indoors. I tried over the weekend to take pictures of him with one of my actual cameras, but this was the best I could do, so I entered it on their website here.

P1080868

Not a horrible shot, but far from the attention-grabbing amazingness that he deserves.

Some day, maybe.

There are times when I feel like I am put in the position of arguing one side of a debate, simply because I can see more than one side, but whoever I’m talking to can’t. I kind of hate that, because I feel like it takes away from my ability to move past that level of comprehension and onto the next. I mean, I suppose it’s my choice, really. I could instead choose to just agree with whatever the other person is saying, because I can see their point usually, and usually even agree with some of it. But I also hate not challenging things when I can clearly see other points to be made, as well. To me, it seems like blind acceptance to not challenge something when it’s obvious that the issue is not so black and white as someone else may think. I try to push them, but for the most part, I am pushing myself, as well. Which is good, except when I get so frustrated at arguing the other side – a side I also don’t fully agree with – that I end up just playing Devil’s Advocate and lose sight of my actual thoughts involving all sides. I end up feeling angry and silently blaming the other person/people for putting me in that position, but not-so-deep down I know it was my own choice. I like to be thorough, I guess.

It’s interesting, my buddy that I hung out with over the weekend, I’d forgotten what our conversations could be like, and how much I loved them. His brain works a lot like mine does, in that we have our own thoughts and opinions, and those don’t always mesh, but our desire to talk things through from multiple angles is…rather invigorating. It really is a wonder we ever got any work done, sometimes.

Last week, a current co-worker asked one day if I had any writing projects on the go, because we hadn’t talked about any of it recently, at all. This was my response, more or less (including stuff about this blog and the possible resurrection of The Mind Reels podcast):

Carving The Light – My intent is to re-write the whole thing as a feature length screenplay. I also want to add in more unpredictable drama to flesh it all out more. The end will be the same, but the journey there will be more emotionally harrowing.

Ebon Black and the Seven Dryads – I keep toying with the idea of re-writing it in some way, skewing it for either a younger or older audience, maybe. Or turning it into a cartoon-type of format. Or maybe just shopping it around to agents and/or publishing houses to see if I can find a home for it. Regardless, it’s far back-burner at the moment!

Untitled Young Reader book about Ellie Skye – This is only a very rough first draft right now, but I really want to go back and take another pass or two at it. Eventually it’d be targeted at readers aged 9-12-ish, I think. Especially girls who need more heroes and adventure stories involving girl protagonists.

Suffer The Fury – My first attempt at a young adult novel, and would make an excellent series. I have done a few drafts, but it still needs more work before I can really try to do anything with it. I entered it in ABNA back when it was still going on, but didn’t make it far enough to get in-depth reviews of the whole manuscript. I got pretty good reviews from readers of the first 10 pages or whatever it was, though!

To Whichever Comes First – I wrote my first screenplay for a short film! I wrote it for a contest because I wanted a deadline I was forced to meet, but I also kept it super simple, so that I might actually be able to shoot it for a very low cost, if I ever get around to it! It all takes place almost completely in one room, and there are two main characters with, like, two other side characters that they interact with briefly. It could totally be done, I think! In my mind, I’ve even been casting it with people I actually know!

Sometimes I See Hearts – My first attempt at writing a picture book for children, again with a little girl as the protagonist. It even rhymes!!! Not sure if I should keep it in its current writing style or go back and Dr. Seuss it up, instead, but I’m content with the first complete draft, so far!

So there you have it. A few of the myriad of things swirling around my brain right now, in addition to finally getting approved to make an official attempt at another Guinness World Record. Got that news this morning, so still have to find time later to really go through the guidelines and see what I can sort out as far as a plan of attack goes. We shall see! More on that in the coming days, I think!

Before my alarm went off this morning, I was dreaming that I was having trouble waking up. I woke up at work, for some reason, but then everything went backwards, in a way, and I was horrifically late for work at the same time. Regardless of where I was, though, I could not keep my eyes open; couldn’t focus on anything. I think there were Muppets at one point.

So exhausted on every level today in waking life, and yet no Muppets to at least make things interesting. Geez.

Life can be so unfair.

Sleepy Wired Mind Day

Okay guys, I can’t figure out what I feel like writing about today, and I am so tired and hungry right now I can’t see straight, let alone think, so I’m just going to babble while I heat up and eat my lunch.

Cool?

Cool.

First, and update on my post from yesterday about my now-broken Guinness World Record. It’s funny, because part of me agrees that I should at least suggest to GWR that perhaps a separate category should be created for teams that work in shifts to break the record, versus individuals or small groups who participate in the entire event. There are channels streaming live and uninterrupted for, like, years, and I don’t know if that should be setting the bar for an event like ours, during which the on-camera participants were awake and involved the entire time.

On the other hand, though, Tim and I have taken it on in our minds as a bit of a challenge! Haha

We were on the streetcar going home from work last night, and were joking about doing an attempt for a week to beat the existing record. We joked about how to fill the time, even with all of the Smithee.tv channel involved in shifts the whole time. Then I made a suggestion that was intended as a joke, but the moment it was out of my mouth, we both looked at each other and said, “Actually…that’s not a bad idea!”

Suddenly it went from something funny to something potentially unbelieveable – and our minds kept turning over ideas long after we parted ways! I guess that’s why it’s still nibbling at my mind even now as I eat and try to come up with other things to talk about today. But it’s different from yesterday, even, because now I suddenly have this list of related ideas that I actually want to freaking try! I won’t go into details right now because it’s too vague and I of course don’t want some random stranger reading my blog to steal my awesome ideas and preemptively gain my former future glory! Haha

Anyway. Obviously no plans yet, nor have we talked to Smithee or considered other potential teammates to make it a reality, but the wheels are definitely turning. Again. Good grief.

Also, on the subway this morning (remember I am extra tired today for some reason), I got it into my head to start a comic strip – called Downtown Abby.

I have no idea what it would be about. I just thought the title was funny.

I’m good at thinking of great titles but I don’t have the content ideas to live up to them. Like Downward God. That was another one I don’t … actually I might have just stumbled on a potential idea for Downtown Abby.

My brain, man!

What else? Still getting my butt kicked at work. Still stressing about money, and yet considering trying to afford a subscription to something nerdy cool, and probably putting a small yet awesome pre-order purchase on my credit card as soon as I have a moment.  I also had a lovely evening on Tuesday with some good friends I’ve not seen in awhile.  It was very much needed.  I think I’m fairly settled on my next tattoo, too, but more on that later.

And now I am well into one of Tim Horton’s choclate caramel donuts of sin that Generous George brought for me earlier and that I saved for dessert after eating my actual lunch! So good!

And filling.

So yeah…this was mostly about Guinness again, but it’s apparently the only exciting thing on my tired brain today.

Oh! Before I sign off and get back to work, I fidgeted with my settings yesterday and there should now be two ways to follow this blog! Both are at the bottom of the right-hand sidebar. One is a Follow button I think is for WordPress users, and above that there is a spot where you can sign up for emails every time I post. Follow away, if you like! I’ll try to be extra interesting sometimes, to make up for days like today! 😉