Monday TIFF-day

As expected, I am suffering somewhat today.

However, the show must go on. As must life! So with another busy day and late night ahead of me, and the beginnings of a cold that have been hanging around for over a week now, I’m having some spicy kimchi noodles from the convenience store on the corner. Hoping that’ll at least keep me warm until lunch time!

Also because tasty.

Even though I can’t afford to go to TIFF, and especially because it still feels strange to not be on vacation and heading to screenings, I think I should plan to book at least the front end off next year. The Mind Reels is not accredited press on an official level, but we’re still getting more than enough festival action coming our way, and I am broken and exhausted right now.

Luckily I still have paid sick days available. Self care time is upon me, I think.

Remember to sponsor and share our Patreon page (http://www.patreon.com/TheMindReels), as just $2 per month gets you on the Patron board, and gets us closer to our initial $100 goal than ever before!

I filmed as much as I could for Canada In A Day, so once I get feeling better and have a bit more energy, I’ll be able to start going through the footage and cutting it together. There’s unfortunately not very much of it – the day didn’t really go as planned – but there’s some. Hopefully I can at least create a mini-narrative of my day, such as it was, and then share it online once it’s been submitted. I think the cut-off is a month from today, so while I have time in theory, I don’t think I have much time i practice. My next few weeks are pretty busy, too. SOMETHING will get submitted, though! Some clip may even make it in! I filmed Brody a bit, and he’s irresistible!

Tonight is going to be a late night. Not sure how I’ll get through it, exactly, but at the same time, if it’s as much fun as last year, I think my billionth wind will kick in nicely! Just have to get there, is all! I haven’t really been to many TIFF parties – or any others, that I can recall – but I think the Canada one would be my favourite, anyway. It’s just got an unpretentious vibe to it. Plus, I know a lot of the people who will potentially be there, so once the initial red carpet formalities are out of the way, everyone just gets to hang together, which is nice. I even just like people-watching in an environment like that; when everyone is relaxed and having fun together. It’s just nice.

Plus, if there are chips and beer, I’m all good!

Anyway, it’ll be amazing, I’m sure. I wish I felt better so I could enjoy it more, but really, just being there will be worth it. Knowing me, I’ll forget how crappy I feel shortly after my arrival, anyway!

I Don’t Know

I don’t know, guys.

I don’t know what to say.

I can’t keep doing all your thinking for you.

And America – you need to be put on a time-out. Immediately. The whole lot of you, except for your President and his fam jam, because I am sure they could use a break from your shit.

I know I could.

Frustrated by more ongoing stuff I can’t talk about.

Mostly I am just PMS-y, though. Sad, angry, defeated, hungry, tired, grumpy, whiny…the best of the seven dwarfs, really. That’s where the idea for my fractured fairy-tale, Ebon Black and the Seven Dryads, came from, anyway.

Why weren’t they called ‘dwarves’? Is it like the Toronto Maple Leafs? Or is English just weird?

Know what else are weird? Feet. Especially toes.

I paid bills this morning and I’m going to pick up shiny new litter boxes tonight. I’m pretty much having a banner day.

There will, of course, be beer.

Frustration, Money-Hating, and Coming Up

Feeling a tad over-stimulated today, on top of not having had enough sleep last night. Like, less sleep than usual. There’s, like, three different pieces of music playing nearby, and I can hear all three at once. The person whose sales I am supposed to be coordinating hasn’t come to work yet this week, so I am flying solo and trying to stay under the radar while just keeping afloat as much as possible. It’s frustrating because I don’t have access to all of the information I need to be effective, among other things, but I’m doing my best. Maybe next week will go better.

Found out Roseanne is coming to Toronto for Just For Laughs!!!

I can’t even begin to express how excited I am by this news, nor how much I would love to see her in person. I decided immediately to just buy a ticket and go by myself, just in case it’s not anyone else’s cup of tea. I totally get it, and I’m not even the hugest fan of her stand-up, nor of some of her politics/opinions, but I still adore her overall and her sitcom meant more to me than I know how to say. Man, I loved the Connor family! Damn.

Also found out there are lion cubs at Jungle Cat World right now, so naturally I want to go pet one, along with other critters available to interact with. But I’ve also had my eye on the Keeper For A Day program at the Toronto Zoo. I really want to do that…and in more than one area, so I want to do it more than once. More than twice, even. haha

And Jays games. I’ve only been to one so far this season…and it’s just occurred to me that I don’t think we ever sorted out the ticket price vs beer/food consumed after. Maybe I’ll just buy the next round of tickets and we’ll call it even again.

Anyway, I hate money. And having too much on my mind. And being tired.

There is a slight chance that we may get the Mind Reels going more consistently again. We’re talking with our producer today about meeting up for a strategy session next week to determine next steps and perhaps learn more about how we can get episodes posted ourselves more quickly and regularly. That would be a good thing. I really like doing the interview/chat thing. Since late last year, though, I’ve been feeling like everything has just ground to a halt, and getting it going again is a little like pulling teeth. I haven’t even been trying to line up interviews lately because I don’t feel I can guarantee it’ll happen without the rest of the team on board. Hopefully we’ll at least decide to do it or stop doing it, and then take it from there. But I think even just talking about it will get people excited again, and we’ll start moving forward once more.

The crazy thing is how we could probably be excelling at it, in some regard. Even during Hot Docs, some of the PR people who had never seen us interview folks before were so impressed with how we made the guests feel at ease right away, and how we could get everyone laughing and having a good time long before the “interview” was over. At the same time, we give them a space to talk about and promote their passion, and everyone gets to enjoy the end result. People usually end up enjoying their time as our guests, and viewers often end up liking to watch our guests, even the ones they know nothing about. Not every interview show has that kind of easy feel, I don’t think.

We’re easy. Haha

Anyway, we’ll see what happens. I’m sure we won’t decide to stop doing it at our meeting next week, but I do want us to stop talking at some point and actually start doing. That’s been a huge factor from the beginning…we talk about a lot of things, have a lot of ideas, and even start implementing some of them. But until we start committing to doing what needs to be done, we’re just going to keep resting on our laurels and nothing will ever change. It’s easy to get excited when talking about doing stuff, but actually settling into doing those things takes a whole different kind of excitement. It takes one that lasts, and the commitment to see tasks through.

Oh! I think I am going to become a volunteer at a local place that deals with animals soon! I have an orientation session at the end of the month, and that will help me decide if I want to do it regularly, or if I am even suited to it. It’s mostly just cleaning up poo and the like, but there’s animals!!! I received the Starter Handbook thingy last night and learned a few things about the place that I hadn’t known before, too, and that got me even more excited to give it all a try. I don’t know how much actual contact I’ll have with the animals themselves, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned from the zoo, it’s that just being around them is highly therapeutic. Also, NO PUBLIC. Being around animals, staff and other volunteers sounds pretty perfect to me, despite all the poo. We’ll see how the orientation session and my first shift goes, and take it from there. More details to follow later! 🙂

St. Patrick’s Day

It’s St. Patrick’s Day!

There was a time – a long time – when I was all over this day like green on a leprechaun. But lately, I think I’m just not feeling it anymore. Kind of sad, really, though I am wearing a green shirt. It’s the t-shirt I made for my first novel, Carving The Light, so it’s a shameless bit of self-promotion, too.

I don’t think I really have much Irish in me, anyway, but still. St. Patrick’s Day was always a thing. My grandma used to send us cards every year, and sign them “Nanny O’Park”. There’d always be a cute verse or something on them, ’cause the Irish always have a way with prayers and toasts, among other things! My mom later took up the card-sending mantle, too, though given that I only have the one mom, there wasn’t much need for a last name to go with the O’. Regardless, though, it was always a day we marked, in my family.

Then, you know, alcohol came along. I think I’ve only ever actually had one green beer in my life, it was always the plan to go find a place to drink with peers on the evening of the 17th. Or the afternoon/evening. Or…whatever. You get the idea! Drinking happens on this day!

Or, for me, it used to. Recent years, not so much. Like today I am at work, then meeting a friend to go shopping for wool (more on that another time, perhaps), then home to walk the dog, feed the critters, watch TV and go to bed. I even have beer in my fridge that I could drink, but probably won’t because I am hella tired. There always used to be a plan, though. Always.

There was one year not long after I moved to Toronto, I was working, and wanted to go somewhere with my coworkers after, but none of us knew the city very well yet. One guy finally remembered an Irish pub nearby that we could check out, and since it was crazy cold out that year, we all agreed to make a go of it. Really, if there was green beer, nothing else mattered, by that point.

So we closed up, trekked through the frigid temperatures to this alleged Irish pub. When we finally arrived, my one friend and I just looked at the guy and shook our heads.

It was called the Artful Dodger.

About as un-Irish as you can get. Our friend who had suggested it was Trinidadian, though, so he was forgiven for not really spotting the difference on appearance alone. And, as it was so cold out, we decided we didn’t care as much about atmosphere as we did about alcohol, so we promptly went inside.

It was actually kind of dead, but cozy and warm. The bartender greeted us with a friendly shout in our direction, and assured us that she had green food colouring for the beer if we wanted it. So we stayed.

Truth be told, that was actually an iconic meeting in the course of my life. The moment I laid eyes on the bartender that night, I knew I not only wanted to stay, but that I’d want to keep going back to the Dodger (as we came to call it) on a regular basis.

Her name was Garvie, and there was something about her that just drew me in and think I needed her in my life.

As such, we all ended up going to the Dodger on a very regular basis. Sometimes we could call ahead and let them know who would be arriving just in time for last call, and they’d have our regular drink orders ready for when we walked in the door. One of the employees, Lizz, became my roomate and then best friend, which she remains to this day. We had staff parties there, birthday parties, when there’s a delay on the subway, sometimes I just go in to have a beer and wait for the mess to clear so I can go home. My ball team went to the Dodger some Sundays for brunch and beers after a morning game. It became my Cheers – where everybody knew my name.

And as for Garvie, after…probably a good decade of stalking her and following her around like a love-sick puppy, we finally had several drinks together one night, and I’d apparently reached an age/maturity where she could now talk to me as more of an equal. Instead of the aforementionned love-sick stalker puppy. Next thing I knew, we were actual friends, and even though she’s moved far away and we barely talk anymore, I know she’s out there, and still a loving part of my world. I even fired off a quick email to her a few minutes ago to tell her that this is the anniversary of the first time we met. I can’t remember which year, but at least I remember the day!

The Dodger and I…I keep taking breaks from it – sometimes for years at a time – but I always seem to end up back there eventually. I remember laughing with friends back in the beginning, saying that if we were in our 40’s and still drinking at the Dodger, that we’d want to be shot and put out of our misery. But here I am in my 40’s, still drinking at the Dodger, and I kind of love it. It’s my place. Even when much time goes by, it’s still the one spot where everybody knows my name. Or some people know my name. The main thing is that it’s familiar; it has that homey feeling to it that can’t be replaced with any other spot. Even though some things have changed over the years, there is a lot that stays the same, including many of the faces I see when I swing by there.

I miss the Garvie doodles on my receipt. I miss knowing every staff member’s life as one knows a friend. But it’s like McDonald’s, in a way. When you’re craving a Big Mac, there’s only one place you’re going to go, and no other burger will do. Same with the Dodger. When I want that feeling of comfort and safety and familiarity, even if I am a regular in other places now, there’s still only one place I’m going to go.

My non-Irish pub. Just, you know, not tonight. Tonight I’ll be even less Irish than a British pub, but that’s okay. I know the Dodger is there whenever I need it to be.

The Rest Is Silence”