Doormat

When they walk all over you, and you still say, “Welcome!”

So tired and stressed, but hopefully just have to get through the next few days and then can maybe relax a bit.

If not rest.

I get a crown put on my tooth tonight. A little last minute dentist action before they close for the holidays. I hope it goes well, and I hope that I don’t screw up paying for it, because I am super stressed about money and feel bad that I can’t pay the whole thing today, let alone balance a budget with higher rent and metropass starting in just over a week. Let alone holidays and the feeling that I have to spend more money than I have doing stuff for those, too. Blah. Stupid money.

The kind of cool thing is that getting this crown brings my dentist and I full circle. I first went to her because I was in pain, and ended up needing a root canal. I couldn’t afford the crown at that point, so naturally I broke the tooth again later and then needed gum surgery to lower the gum-line and expose more tooth upon which to put this crown. In the meantime, I’ve taken better care of my teeth and gums than I had in the whole of my lifetime leading up to meeting this particular dentist. Of which I am pleased with myself. So despite the frustrating and expensive parts of this journey, I’m glad for where I’ve gotten to as a result, at least. Maybe from here on out it’ll be smoother sailing.

Debbie Gibson was in my dream last night. Then one of my FB memories was about having no cable nor internet, so I was making Jack Bear dance with me to some of Debbie’s songs while I sang to him a couple of years ago.

Ah Debbie Gibson.

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