Uncomfortably Numb

Man, I have no idea WHAT is going on today!  Haha #storyofmylife

A couple of things I think I forgot to mention about Saturday – that Mark Hamill had his dog, Millie, at his table when I was in line, but she’d left by the time I got up there, and that I finally did manage to shake his hand as we went in for the photo op.

Though it’s possible I already said one or both of those things.  I can’t remember.

Yesterday, the final day, was more of the same.  Early morning, interviews, pain, fatigue, line ups, laughter, tears…mostly a blur, at any rate.

I took some SWEET pics over the weekend, though!  Pretty pleased with how they turned out, yet at the same time, unsurprised with public reaction to them.  Or, more accurately, the lack thereof!  Haha

Was very grateful to finally get home last night, though when a woman found Brody or me or both of us so scary that she ran screaming into the street as we approached her on the sidewalk, my first thought after we passed was that the incident had pretty much capped off my day nicely!

What else?  I’m pretty numb today.  A ton of emotion over the past few weeks has been overwhelming, and I’ve yet to attempt to process any of it.  At this point, I probably won’t.  Certainly not to the extent that’s needed.

Me not giving myself what I need is sort of an ongoing theme, though.  😜

The numbness I feel is on every level, though, not just emotional.  Mentally, my brain is a fog, I’m pretty sure I’m coming down with something, my limbs don’t really feel attached to the rest of my body, and while nothing physically hurts, really, nothing feels very good, either.

I’m far from present.

My heart still aches, but even that pain feels somewhat removed. Which isn’t better, exactly.  It’s still there, but I am disconnected from everything, and everyone, including myself.

I’m alone and can’t even rely on me today!  Feels very strange…and yet mostly like I maybe just need a nap!  😜

Also, I realize that I whine a lot.  It’s my blog, though, so suck it.

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