Not sure what to write about today. There’s a ton on my mind, but none of it is really bloggable. A ton on my heart, but that’s even less bloggable.
I guess I can talk about how I feel today, if not discuss any of the why.
So, I’m tired. The weekend was busy, to say the least. And I messed up my sleep pattern completely, so even last night, although I was exhausted, I had trouble getting to sleep and staying that way. Probably should have taken something, but today was just going to drain the life out of me, anyway, so it wouldn’t likely have made much difference.
I’m also hurt, confused, angry, but not so much about the things you think. About other things you don’t even know about. I got secrets, yo.
I’m growing disheartened about some things.
I’m becoming even more excited about some other things.
I’m kinda jazzed that when I weighed myself yesterday I was back down to where I last was circa 2002. I’m also pretty sure that will change by the end of today if I break down and buy a bag of chips after I’m done eating my lunch.
Physically I feel like crap.
Emotionally I’m down but almost too tired to really feel how much.
I keep making plans and then doubting my ability to stick to them long enough to see them through.
I pretty much exist in a kind of vaccuum right now.
Something will break that open eventually, I’m sure. For now, I just keep on keepin’ on.